04 November, 2010

How Understanding Your Emotional Balance Can Help Your Relationship

By Chio Ugochukwu

Emotional balance is important in our relationships because it influences how we connect to our selves and to others. If you lose your handle on your feelings about a particular situation or event, you will find it difficult to react rationally.

Our emotions reflect how we truly feel about the circumstances we find ourselves in, at any given moment. You have to be honest with yourselves. If you feel mad or angry about something that happened between you and your lover, it is better to admit it and find reasons for it, than to be in denial.

Just because you have found your soul mate, does not mean everyday will be a bed of roses. There will still be moments of bliss and moments of intense anger. Your sense of well being is a barometer for your feelings, and helps you to recognize either when you are going too slow or too fast.

Webster's dictionary defines relationship as the kind or quality of association between people. Keeping your emotional composure under control is one the factors that can affect the quality of your relationship. If you know what factors make you lose your emotional balance then you can prepare for it. For one of my friends his emotional balance was lost or disrupted when ever he felt he had been treated unfairly or with little respect. This is not surprising since every human being, married or married, in love or not, wants to be treated with dignity.

Treating someone with dignity means acknowledging that the person has rights and has a right to their feelings. This recognition will help you know the triggers to the changes in your emotional balance and that of your spouse or lover. The biggest mistake we make in our relationships is to tell our loved ones that their feelings were wrong or that the events that led to the change in their feelings are insignificant.

The important emotional balance approach is to understand the types of events that lead to emotional break downs and take steps to overcome them. Most disruptions in emotion usually start with a rise in emotional tension. Once this tension has been recognized, you need to deflect this tension build up through better communication. Sometimes this may entail changing the subject or simply keeping quiet.

One of the best ways to use emotional balance to help your relationship is to lose fights. By 'fight', I mean a quarrel between two lovers. Let your lover win that fight. Relationships are not the same as mathematics. Sometimes you win by losing. You may be surprised how simply saying "you are right "may help reduce tension and restore the emotional balance in your relationships.

Try this and be kind enough to share your experience.

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