19 November, 2010

The lost art of letter writing: keep your family close with old-fashioned letter exchange

Communication today is changing as fast as the newest gadget hits stores. E-mail, cell phones, and instant messages have made short, choppy messages a daily norm. This is fine for a quick clarification, a fast question, or a business reminder, but it lacks the personal feeling of really keeping in touch, even when you communicate with a person several times a day.
Top Five Reasons To Write Letters.



1. Many people consider certain letters, such as thank you notes and birth announcements, to be a cultural necessity. Acknowledging a gift or event strengthens family connections. Failing to write such a note may well offend family members, even unintentionally.

2. Letters last longer than phone calls or e-mails. A letter may be saved in a scrapbook, reread again and again, and preserved to document a relationship or special occasion. By sending a letter, you’re sending far more than a few words on a page.

3. A letter can be a clear record of important information, such as a party’s date, time, and location. By taking the time to write this information down rather than relay it through a phone call, there is no miscommunication about the details, and no chance that an e-mail may be accidentally deleted.

4. Writing letters gives you the time to carefully choose your words, whether you’re angry, upset, or joyful. It is emotionally safer because you do not run the risk of talking to the recipient at the wrong time and feeling rejected, hurt, or ignored.

5. When you write a letter, you are telling the recipient that you took time from your busy schedule to think of them, to include them in your life in a more substantive way than hitting send or redial. Everyone receives mail, but rarely are bills and flyers viewed with the smile and warmth that a friendly letter will be.

A good letter is has many qualities. It is unique to both the sender and recipient: it couldn’t be photocopied and sent to different people. It is personal, sharing intimate moments and emotions between the correspondents. It asks questions, genuinely interested in the lives of both people, not just a memo about one person’s experiences. Simply put, today’s letter is not a school report – it is a chance to connect with someone close to you.

Formatting A Personal Letter

Choose easy-to-read stationary, preferably with a personal touch. Notebook paper will do the job, but by using a special paper or note card, you are indicating that this is a special letter, something between friends. Be sure there is enough room to write without being cramped, but at the same time not leaving too much room left over. A lot of white space makes a letter look hasty and unfinished, as if you didn’t really want to write. Themed stationary is always popular, whether it’s for a holiday, season, or simply a favorite color. This adds another personal touch and makes a letter even more enjoyable.

A handwritten letter is generally preferable to a typed one. Depending on the circumstances, however, typing may be acceptable. For example, if your handwriting is barely legible on a good day and your aunt’s eyesight isn’t what it used to be, typing may be easier for you both.

A letter does not have to include just a few sheets of paper. To personalize a letter even more, consider enclosing pictures, confetti, pressed flowers or leaves, or even a coupon or newspaper clipping you think might be appreciated. These little extras really demonstrate that you are thinking of the recipient. 
Another way to personalize a letter is to use a sticker as the envelope’s seal. 

First Words – Beginning Your Letter

The hardest part of letter writing is getting those first crucial words onto the page. An easy strategy for planning a letter is to write a brief outline, even just a list of key topics that you want to include. When you start writing you may get wrapped up in describing one thing, and forget others that you’d wanted to mention. By jotting down a few key words as reminders, you’ll be able to write a coherent and interesting letter.

When writing to family, there is no need to include your address at the top of the paper, with two exceptions. First, if you haven’t written to this person before or it has been a long time, you can include your address for their reference. Second, if you’ve recently moved and want to be sure they have the correct address, by all means provide it. Never assume that the return address will be sufficient; many people will not check the return address after seeing the sender’s name, and it may have become illegible during delivery.

The Body Of The Letter
Most schools teach that essays need three paragraphs to present arguments, evidence, or reasoning. While there is no formal standard for letters, the body of your letter should do three main things.
First, respond to the previous letter.
Next, include any news in your life, even if it seems insignificant.
Finally, ask questions of your own.

Last Words – Wrapping Up A Letter

When you’ve finished a letter, the hardest part may be saying good-bye. But why say good-bye? Letters can always be continued. Use an informal closing such as “Always” or “’Till Later” or even “XOXOXO” to convey your personality. Avoid using “Sincerely” or “Sincerely Yours” as these closings are most commonly found in formal, business correspondence.

Special Types of Letters


Thank You Notes: Always mention the specific gift, as well as how you intend to use it. Does it match your décor? Is it the right size? What purpose does it serve? Mentioning these things will let the gift-giver know how much you appreciate their thoughtfulness, and they will appreciate such a lovely thank you note.
Invitations and Announcements: When dated information is included, try to use bullet points to make it stand out so there is no misunderstanding about dates, times, and places. If an RSVP is required, it is courteous to allow recipients to respond in several ways: via e-mail, telephone, and so forth.
Get Well Cards: Take care not to minimize an illness or injury, and do not presume to give unsolicited advice. Simply wish the person well, and let them you know that you are thinking of them and if possible, that you’d like to help in any way you can.
Congratulations: Always be specific in acknowledging what deserves congratulations. Hard work, sacrifices, and a lot of struggle may be involved and the recipient will appreciate that you recognize their achievements.
Condolences: Write such a note for those living, not those who have passed away. Including a positive memory of the deceased lets the person know that you understand their loss and will miss the deceased as well.
Birthdays, Anniversaries and Holidays: Be sure to mail these notes early, especially around the December holiday season to insure that they arrive on time. If you are including a newsletter with holiday cards, be sure to keep it brief and don’t dwell on negative events. Furthermore, let adult children and other relatives speak for themselves: presumably everyone will be mailing out their own holiday cards.

Letter writing is a lost art, but it can be recovered with a little time and a lot of your own personality. For the cost of a few stamps and some stationary you can be more connected to your family than all the cell phones, pagers, and e-mail put together. You may discover things about your family that you never knew, and find that it’s all those little secrets, lovingly shared through the written word, that bring families closer with each delivery.

source: http://www.essortment.com/lifestyle/lostartletter_sdfp.htm

Why teenagers find learning a drag - life - 19 March 2010 - New Scientist

Why teenagers find learning a drag - life - 19 March 2010 - New Scientist

Rules of Life for Teenagers

Charles Sykes is the author of Dumbing Down Our Kids. He volunteered for high school and college graduates a list of things he did not learn in school. In his book, he talks about how the liberal, feel-good, politically correct garbage has created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule #1. Life is not fair Get used to it. The average teenager uses the phrase "it's not fair" 8.6 times a day. You got it from your parents. Who said it so often you decided they must be the most idealistic generation ever. When they started hearing it from their own kids, They realized Rule #1.

Rule #2. The real world won't care as much about your self-esteem as your-school does, it will expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. This may come as a shock. Usually, when inflated self-esteem meets reality, kids complain that it's not fair. (See Rule No. 1)

Rule #3. Sorry, you won't make $40,000 a year right out of high school. And you won't be a vice president or have a car phone either. You may even have to wear uniform that doesn't have a Gap label on it.

Rule #4. If you think your teacher is tough, wait 'till you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you mess up, he is not going ask you how feel about it.

Rule #5. Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping, They called it opportunity. They weren't embarrassed making minimum wage either. They would have been embarrassed to sit around talking about Kurt Cobain all weekend.

Rule #6. It's not your parents fault. If you mess up, you are responsible. This is the flip side of "It's my life," and "You're not the boss of me," and other eloquent proclamations of your generation. When you turn 18, it's on your dime. Don't whine about it or you'll sound like a baby boomer.

Rule #7. Before you were born your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way paying your bills, cleaning up your room and listening to you tell them how idealistic you are. And by the way, before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parents' generation try delousing the closet in your bedroom.

Rule #8. Life is not divided into semesters, and you don't get summers off. Nor even Easter break They expect you to show up every day. For eight hours. And you don't get a new life every 10 weeks. It just goes on and on.

Rule #9. Television is not real life. Your life is not a sitcom. Your problems will not all be solved in 30 minutes, minus time for commercials, In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop to go to jobs. Your friends will not be perky or as polite as Jennifer Aniston.

Rule #10. Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them We all could.

Rule #11. Enjoy life while you can. Sure, parents are a pain, school's a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you'll realize how wonderful it was to be a kid. Maybe you should start now. You're welcome.

Family

The family.  We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.  ~Erma Bombeck


http://www.quotegarden.com/family.html

18 November, 2010

Adolescent Pregnacy

by Robert T. Brown, MD


The following are some of the stark facts about a problem that has become to many Americans, a symbol of a national moral malaise. This article will attempt to present the facts about teen pregnancy, and it will offer some thoughts on what might be done to alleviate the problem, at least to some degree.

· Every year almost one million teenage girls become pregnant.

· More than half of them are 17 years old or younger when they have their first pregnancy.

· Approximately one-third of the girls who get pregnant carry their pregnancies to term and keep their babies.

· About another third have abortions, and the other third has spontaneous miscarriages.

· Only about five percent of pregnant girls put their babies up for adoption.

· Approximately 40 percent of young women become pregnant before they reach 20 years old.

· The United States of America has double the adolescent pregnancy and birth rates of any other industrialized country.

· The poorer the young woman, the more likely she will become a mother.

· Less than one-third of teens who have babies before the age of 18 finish high school.

· Almost half of all teen mothers end up on welfare.

· Less than 25 percent of births to teens occur within wedlock.

· The birth rate for teens has been declining in recent years, especially among African American girls (this is good news).




Background

For almost all of human history, women began their careers as mothers when they were teenagers. Until the years preceding World War II, girls usually got married within a few years of reaching menarche (the first menstrual period), which occurred when the girls were 14 or 15 years old. Since there wasn’t any effective form of contraception, they tended to get pregnant soon after the wedding. Indeed, there were more teenage women who became parents in 1960 than there are now, but most of these women were married, or they got married while they were pregnant.

The major change in the situation has been the public acceptance of single motherhood along with recognition that women definitely need a complete education, at least through high school, if they are to be financially self-sufficient. Only about 25 percent of children grow up in a house with both birth parents these days, compared to more than 50 percent just 40 years ago. The increase in numbers of single parents due to divorce has led to a societal acceptance of single parenthood in general, with the consequence of societal acceptance of single teenage mothers as well, even if they’ve never been married.

Protective Factors

There are several factors that correlate with decreased risk of becoming a teen mother. Children who are raised by both parents from birth have a decreased risk of becoming sexually active. Teens who are regularly involved in their places of worship tend to delay the onset of sexual activity. Adolescents whose parents discuss sex with them are likely to delay onset of sexual relationships, as are teens who expect to go on to college. An additional factor that helps protect kids in this area is closeness or “connectedness” to their parents. Teenage girls who relate well to their parents tend to delay onset of sexual activity, and when they do become sexually active, they make better choices about contraception.

Factors That Increase Risk

Let’s focus on why some girls, unwed ones more specifically, become parents during their adolescence.

Immaturity
The reader should notice that I did not say choose to become pregnant. Many younger adolescents are not particularly developed in their ability to think as adults until they reach 15 or 16 years of age. At 12, 13, or 14 years old, adolescents are generally incapable of making decisions based on a reasoned understanding of the future consequences of their actions. Their brains have yet to develop the connections that allow them to think that way. Teens at this stage live much more in the moment than do older teens or adults. Adolescents often do not connect the actual act of intercourse with the real possibility of having a baby nine months later. This inability to perceive future consequences of current behavior is called cognitive immaturity.

Personal Myth
As part of growing up mentally, adolescents, especially early adolescents, experience what has been called a personal myth. This means that these teens feel as if they have special protection from risky behaviors and that bad consequences won’t happen to them. Fortunately, most of us grow out of this way of thinking by middle adolescence when we start getting more freedom from parental control. If the early adolescents who think this way do not have adequate supervision from parents and are not protected by some of the factors mentioned above, they will be at much higher risk for the onset of sexual activity with all of its consequences.

Low self-esteem
Girls who have low self-esteem or who are depressed may engage in sexual activity as a way of trying to make themselves feel better. Girls who have parents who are distracted or depressed may also feel the need to seek warmth and nurturing through sexual liaisons. Girls who abuse alcohol or drugs may not make very good choices about sex and contraception. And girls who do not have an effective male role model during their early and mid-adolescent years also may be vulnerable to the attentions of older men from whom these girls seek “fathering” as much as they seek romance and intimacy. These older men, however, are usually not motivated altruistically. They enter these relationships frequently because they find a younger woman easier to control. Some of these girls also are prey to men who want to prove to themselves that they are capable of fathering a child. We do know that on the average, the fathers of babies born to teen moms are at least four years older than the girls. So most of these men are adults, not teens.

Another factor putting girls at risk is lack of knowledge about how to avoid having sex and about contraception if they choose to have sex.

Wanted pregnancy
Finally, some girls get pregnant because they really want to. Some want to get pregnant in order to make their partners happy. Some girls carry the mistaken belief that the babies will give them love and nurturance. And some want to get pregnant because they see other girls in their social circles getting increased attention and what seems to them increased material benefit by being mothers. These girls tend not to have a real understanding of the negatives of adolescent parenthood.

Possible Solutions

Alleviation of some of the factors mentioned above might have a real impact on the pregnancy rate among adolescents in this country. Actions that we as a society could take include:

· Detecting girls with depression/low self-esteem when they are children or in very early adolescence.

· Doing all we can to ensure that girls have effective male role models, especially if their natural fathers are not active in their lives.

· Making sure that all teens are educated in how to avoid unwanted sexual activity.

· Making sure all teens know about effective contraception if they do choose to have sex.

· Making sure that teens know the risks that are caused by alcohol and drug use and that those with substance abuse problems are detected and treated.

One further factor that might diminish the sexual risks that adolescents take is to have a consistent and healthful portrayal of sex and its consequences in our media. This country has an obsession with sex in advertising and in entertainment, but the media usually doesn’t show the negative consequences of having sex. Frequently, people on TV or in the movies are depicted as having sex without consequences. The media also does a very poor job of showing kids how adults who are responsible act in situations in which they might engage in sex. Do popular TV shows depict characters actively saying that they probably ought not to have sex because pregnancy might ensue? Pressure by parents on companies that sponsor these programs could be a big help in this area.

Conclusion

Adolescence is a period in which the sexual self becomes developed and in which it is natural to want to discover one’s capabilities. As responsible adults, we ought to be providing our young people with the guidance and tools needed to get through this period in good shape, unencumbered by too early parenthood or the need for abortions.

© 2002 Healthology, Inc.