Improving Social and Emotional Behavior

By: Christine Cadena

As we try to teach our young children about morality, many more teens are engaging in promiscuous behavior at an earlier age than their parents once did. For some teens, the engagement of promiscuous behavior may be something as simple as the first kiss. In movies and on television shows, the images are forever etched in our minds when a couple engages in that first kiss. Sending signals and messages that something profound has just happened, many young children find their first kiss is often not as magical as what they have seen on television. Even still, it is a memorable event. For many teens, especially those around age 14, the first kiss is expected to occur. It is, however, also expected that parents protect teens from engaging in activity beyond the first kiss.

If your child has engaged in a first kiss as a teen, as a parent there is no reason to be alarmed simply by this action. For many child psychologists, if the child has reached age 12 to 14, it is expected the first kiss would have occurred by this time. The casual kissing on the mouth is an acceptable behavior for teens in this age group and generally does not lead to other physical activity.

The basis on which many child psychologists limit their concerns over a teen's first kiss lies in the underlying emotions that generally accompany this event. When asked, many teens in this age group indicate their first kiss was usually filled with guilt, anxiety and fear and often did not elicit any feelings of satisfaction or pleasure. AS a result, many teens do not expand on the first kiss and engage in activity beyond this.

With this knowledge, many parents still find they are fearful of their child's first kissing experience. For fear the teen may be acting in a promiscuous way, engaging in kissing activity at a young age, parents worry the activity may lead to more sexually advanced activity. Providing the teenager is close to 14 years of age when the first kiss takes place, many child psychologists view this as a normal progression of maturity and does not raise significant concern or alarm.

If, however, your child is under age 12 and is found to be engaged in kissing activity on a regular basis, there may be cause for concern. Often mimicking what is seen in movies or on television, many young children, under age 12 who engage in regular kissing activity, report they are looking for that magical moment and have become desensitized by their actions. For children younger than age 12, this type of activity should be addressed by a child psychologist in order to prevent future complications with promiscuous behavior.

While there is no scheduled time in which every child will become sexually or romantically mature, for many teenagers the natural progression begins around age 14 when that first kiss takes place in the time period shortly after reaching this age. When your child engages in a simple first kiss at 14, or an age thereafter, there is generally no reason for concern as this behavior will not lead to much more than a kiss.