27 October, 2010

There's a first time for everything: understanding adolescence

Janna Siegel and Michael F. Shaughnessy

Much has been written about the phenomenon of adolescence. Erikson developed the idea of the "identify crisis" (1963); Kohlberg (1971) discussed moral development, and Sullivan (1953) examined the place of the "chum" and peer relations in adolescence.

Marcia (1966, 1980) contributed the idea of identity diffusion, moratorium, identity achieved, and other major constructs relative to the adolescent years. Elkind's construct of the personal fable does much to explain the behavior of teenagers. Piaget also discussed the cognitive changes in adolescence, the rise of formal operations, and hypothesis testing. However these theorists have only partially explained the pervasive emotional elements of adolescence.

Adolescence is a time of one's first kiss, first dance, first job, first date, first crush, and first "love." Childhood had been a period of "make believe" with much adult supervision. In adolescence, the teenager is confronted with "the real thing" for the first time.

A common thread that runs throughout these theories is the idea of a new awakening, or a fresh perspective. The "first time" is a crucial time for an adolescent - be it a first handholding, or a first sexual encounter - it is heavily weighted with a flood of feelings never before encountered by the adolescent who may not be emotionally prepared for that first encounter. It is suggested here that the glory and trauma of adolescence is due to the intensity of these events.

This is not to say that children under the age of 12 do not have feelings or dreams, but that the cognitive and emotional awareness that accompanies adolescence compounds the effects. The teenager begins to develop a new perspective on interpersonal relationships.

Friendships

An example would be friendships. During this period, peers become of critical importance. Adolescents believe that their friendships will last forever. But as they grow into adulthood, they find that "wedding bells are breaking up that old gang of mine" and that their peer group is leaving for different places including colleges. Sullivan (1953) wrote about the importance of a "chum." The chum is an integral part of adolescence and also lays a foundation for later adult relationships. Berndt (1982, 1986) investigated the phenomenon of friendship during adolescence and the role it plays in the transition to adulthood. The "best friend" becomes critical for many adolescents as the parents' role as confidante diminishes. Peers become the new support system.

Adolescent Views of Time

Prior to adolescence, children do not look extensively toward the future. Usually, they are self- and ego-centered in the present. As adolescents they can perceive a future, but the future they perceive may be identical to the present. How they feel today is how they think they will feel tomorrow. If they are in love, they will be in love forever; their friends will be friends for a lifetime; if their heart is broken, this is how they will always feel. They may not completely understand that their intense passion or pain will pass with time and they may not have developed the skills for coping with the trauma, for example, of a lost love.

One explanation is that for many adolescents it is the first time for these intense feeling. Thus, they cannot understand that others may feel the same way, or that one day they may feel differently.

They are convinced that no one has ever loved as they have, or been hurt as deeply, or felt the same exhilaration or depth of anxiety. There is a desperation to adolescent "first times" - a desperation to engage in the behaviors other adolescents are enjoying. They emulate their peer group in an attempt to be part of it. They are jealous of what other adolescents have - be it a car, a job, girl/boyfriend.

This desperation may also reflect earlier deprivation. If teenagers have not received much love from their parents or have come from a single-parent home, or have not been able to form relationships, there is an inordinate sense of loss.

Adolescents want to submerge themselves in a relationship, which may be why many of them spend so much time on the phone or with their boy/girlfriends. They involve themselves with their peer group because they may, for the first time, receive acceptance from others who "understand them."

Not having experienced these feelings before, they have no evidence that anyone else has ever felt this way, or that they will ever feel any differently.

The ability to understand the euphoria experienced by a teenager in love is difficult for adults, and this makes counseling adolescents so problematic. Each adolescent has his or her own "personal fable" (Elkind, 1974). An adult perspective is much more long range and global for several reasons. Adults realize that deep emotional pain is temporary - that love, for example is not always a lifetime emotion. Adults know that things sometimes get better, and sometimes worse. Mature adults realize that things do change with time.

Impulsiveness

Suicide, risk-taking behaviors and the personal fable of Elkind (1974) are often associated with adolescence - a time of "present orientation." The personal fable and perhaps even more importantly, the "invincibility fable" lead teenagers to act with no thought of the consequences. Students who begin to smoke, do drugs or drive recklessly may be fueled by this phenomenon, and if they receive support from their peer group who validate the experiences. For the first time, adults become less important.

In particular, the reaching out for love is magnified in adolescence, as exemplified in this excerpt from a teenager's diary:

Please don't turn me away Please don't leave me crying Loving you without your love Can't you see I'm dying?!

Good bye my friend if you need help For me you can always send Unless it's for a broken heart I've got my own to mend.

The powerful need for love is one reason adolescents become engaged in premarital sex resulting in pregnancy. Shaughnessy and Shakesby (1992) discussed some of the inherent problems when adolescents try to be emotionally intimate when they do not have the requisite skills. Thus, they rely on physical intimacy.

Further, teenagers are often concerned about being "crazy" as they are bombarded with incomprehensible and powerful feelings. Some of these feelings lead to suicidal ideation, attempts, and actual suicide (Shaughnessy & Shakesby, 1986). Again, an excerpt from a diary exemplifies this phenomenon:

I'm crazy I need help. But I am selfish if I ask for it; And selfish if I don't. I'm not a very good friend; I'm not a very good anything Unfortunately I'm just me.

The following is from another adolescent's diary.

So I'm almost 16 - It seems so old and yet still young

I don't want to get old because when I am, I want to have had a better childhood.

The adolescent can be overly sensitive to the peer group. Again a diary excerpt exemplifies the degree of sensitivity:

I'm too sensitive And now I know why. It is because I believe all the bad things that people say to me or kid around with. But why should I believe them when I know they don't mean it? Because, I feel that I am as horrible as they say, and I wish I wasn't me. But I will have to make the best of it and learn to be happy with what I am, since I'll never have a chance to be someone else.

Although using adolescent diary entries is not the most scientific approach to the study of adolescence, diaries do portray the turmoil, stress, and confusion of this period of life. In spite of the fact that not all teenagers are confronted with the same degree of anguish, there is a common theme and pattern to many adolescent concerns.

SUMMARY AND CONCLUSIONS

In studying adolescence, we must bear in mind that for many teenagers, this is a period of "firsts" - and for many of these first experiences, they may not be prepared. But by understanding the amount of emotional energy they invest in jobs, cars, dating and other concerns, we can better comprehend this transitional period. Although this "first time paradigm" obviously needs further study, this paper has reviewed a few salient domains of these first experiences.

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