Signs of an Abusive Relationship in Teens

What Parents and Teenagers Should Look for in Warning Signs

Mar 27, 2010 Elizabeth Stannard Gromisch

One in three teenagers experience an abusive relationship, according to the Alabama Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

Abuse does not discriminate by age – teenagers are also at risk for abusive relationships. The American Psychological Association (APA) states that 10 to 25 percent of girls between 15 and 24 years old are victims of rape or attempted rape. Both girls and boys can be victims of relationship violence, and both genders can experience emotional, physical and sexual abuse.

Why Does the Violence Occur?

The Alabama Coalition Against Domestic Violence (ACADV) notes that relationship violence in teenagers can be due to harmful stereotypes. Some young men see that they have a right to control their partners, and can demand intimacy. In addition, some young women see the possessiveness from their partners as romantic and the abuse is normal, especially if their friends are also being abused. The APA adds that young men may feel that they have to act tough, and that young women may feel that they have to put up with these behaviors.

Warning Signs of an Abusive Relationship

Signs of abuse can start early in a relationship, though it can be hard for the victim to see them. The abusers will cycle between abusive behaviors and kind gestures to keep their victims under their control. The ACADV notes that warning signs of an abusive relationship include extreme jealousy and controlling behaviors. For example, the abuser will try to keep his victim away from family and friends, becoming upset when she wants to spend time with someone other than her partner.

Another early warning sign of an abusive relationship is a partner that believes in rigid sex roles. This means that the abuser holds the belief that the woman must obey the man, no matter what he asks from her, and that the man has the right to control her and use force. He will assert this belief to justify his actions. The abuser may also have explosive anger or use force during an argument.

The APA adds that the abuser may tease his victim, but the teasing can include insults. The abuser may also use emotional blackmail to get sex, such as using lines like “if you love me, you would have sex for me.” The emotional blackmail can be a powerful tool to push the victim into acts that she is not comfortable with, such as having sex without protection. In addition, the abuser may expect his partner to be available at all times, and can become upset with her when she is busy.

As the abuse continues, parents may notice drastic changes in their child, such as physical signs of injury and changes in mood or personality. The victim may also turn substance abuse and have problems in school. If the victim of the abusive relationship is female, she may become pregnant.