11 December, 2010
06 December, 2010
03 December, 2010
01 December, 2010
A 11 yo girl died because she was being threw out from 4th floor class room by her teacher only because the girl said something enraged the teacher.
This happened in china. They suspect the teacher is a mental problem sufferer. The witness said the teacher bang the girl's head on table several times until she fell down to the floor then teacher used steel hit her head, after tht step on her head several times, bleeding alot..n being drag to the window....oh, I forgot to mention the girl actually lost her conscious when she fell down on the floor.
Dear cheng boon, what the girl said its not mentioned in the video and very sorry that i din follow the news after. however, there r 2 msg v can get from this news. 1st, students nowadays getting worse especially in disciplinary problem (this might lead to adolescent text book as well..hehe).2nd, work stress of teacher ( find in IO text book lol)..In conclusion, illness of society...
30 November, 2010
Adolescent Risk-Taking
These materials on adolescent risk-taking were prepared by the Casey Journalism Center for Children and Families from the work of Lynn E. Ponton, MD, author of The Romance of Risk: Why Teenagers Do the Things They Do. The materials appeared on a listserve for journalists who cover children and youth.
Guiding a Child or Teen in Risk Assessment
Prepared by Lynn E. Ponton, M.D.
(1) Healthy risk-taking is a positive tool in an adolescent's life for discovering, developing, and consolidating his or her identity.(2) It is important to remember that learning how to assess risks is a process that we work on throughout our lives. Children and adolescents need support, tools, and practice in order to do this.
(3) Young children give clues about how they do or don't take risks (e.g., how they ride a bike or skateboard, how they handle a new social situation). These clues contribute to styles or patterns of risk-taking.
(4) Although there are many styles, certain patterns can be seen, such as the cautious risk-taker, the middle-of-the-roader, the adventurer or high-end risk-taker, the teen whose risk-taking increases when he or she is with friends.
(5) Risk-taking can be accelerated in one area -- social, physical, intellectual, artistic, or sexual, for example -- and not in others.
(6) Helping a child or teen understand or define his or her own risk-taking pattern is important.
(7) This includes helping the child understand how and why he or she makes both healthy and unhealthy choices. Questions to ask
- Do you feel pressured to make risky choices by friends?
- Do you rush into decisions?
- Do you think it is uncool to try things in a safe manner?
- Are dangerous risks more exciting? Do they feel more like you?
- Do you make dangerous choices to show others?
- Does it feel as though it's happening "in a dream" when you make dangerous choices?
(9) Adults can share what we have learned about risk-taking. A nonjudgmental and nonbragging manner is most helpful. It is often most important to share feelings and mistakes.
(10) Risk-taking can be practiced and learned in healthy, supportive situations.
ADOLESCENT RISK-TAKING: HEALTHY vs. UNHEALTHY
adapted from
The Romance of Risk: Why Teenagers Do the Things They Do
by Lynn E. Ponton, M.D.
(Basic Books, 1997) Healthy risk-taking is a positive tool in an adolescent's life for discovering, developing, and consolidating his or her identity. Adolescent risk-taking only becomes negative when the risks are dangerous. Healthy risks -- often understood as "challenges" -- can turn unhealthy risks in a more positive direction, or prevent them from ever taking place to begin with.
It is important to remember that learning how to assess risks is a process that we work on throughout our lives. Adolescents need both support and tools to be able to do this. Below are some suggestions for healthy alternatives to unhealthy risk-taking. In order to undertake healthy alternatives to dangerous risk-taking, adolescents need the active help and support of the adults in their lives, including parents and teachers. Any of the healthy risks in the right-hand column are excellent alternatives to any of the behaviors shown on the left.
| UNHEALTHY RISK BEHAVIOR | HEALTHY RISK ALTERNATIVES |
| Dangerous dieting, eating disorders | Physical activities such as sports teams, horseback riding, in-line skating, walking, or jogging |
| Using drugs or alcohol | Under the supervision of a trained expert, engaging in outlets for extreme physical and emotional thrills such as white-water rafting, rock climbing, camping, etc.; creative activity such as joining a band or the production of a play |
| Running away, staying out all night, living on the streets | Learning or practicing a creative art form such as photography, pottery, video, dance, or creative writing |
| Unprotected sexual activity | Learning to talk about sex and relationships, working on open communication with partners and parents |
| Gang violence, weapons, bullying, scapegoating | Seeking out new friends, volunteering in the community, participating in a student exchange program, transferring to a new school if necessary |
| Shoplifting, stealing | Getting a part-time job such as baby-sitting, camp or after-school counselor, retail clerk in clothing or music store, tutoring |
TEN TIPS FOR PARENTS:
Understanding Your Adolescent's Behavior
from The Romance of Risk: Why Teenagers Do the Things They Do
by Lynn E. Ponton, M.D.
(Basic Books, 1997)
(1) All teenagers take risks as a normal part of growing up. Risk-taking is the tool an adolescent uses to define and develop his or her identity, and healthy risk-taking is a valuable experience.
(2) Healthy adolescent risk-taking behaviors which tend to have a positive impact on an adolescent's development can include participation is sports, the development of artistic and creative abilities, volunteer activities, travel, running for school office, making new friends, constructive contributions to the family or community, and others. Inherent in all of these activities is the possibility of failure. Parents must recognize and support their children with this.
(3) Negative risk-taking behaviors which can be dangerous for adolescents include drinking, smoking, drug use, reckless driving, unsafe sexual activity, disordered eating, self-mutilation, running away, stealing, gang activity, and others.
(4) Unhealthy adolescent risk-taking may appear to be "rebellion" -- an angry gesture specifically directed at parents. However, risk-taking, whether healthy or unhealthy, is simply part of a teen's struggle to test out an identity by providing self-definition and separation from others, including parents.
(5) Some adolescent behaviors are deceptive -- a teen may genuinely try to take a healthy risk that evolves into more dangerous behavior. For example, many adolescent girls fail to recognize the trap of dieting and fall into a pattern of disordered eating, sometimes even developing a full eating disorder. Parents need to be well informed in order to help their adolescents with such struggles.
(6) Red flags which help identify dangerous adolescent risk-taking can include psychological problems such as persistent depression or anxiety which goes beyond more typical adolescent "moodiness"; problems at school; engaging in illegal activities; and clusters of unhealthy risk-taking behaviors (e.g., smok ing, drinking and driving recklessly might be happening at the same time, as might disordered eating and self-mutilation, or running away and stealing).
(7) Since adolescents need to take risks, parents need to help them find healthy opportunities to do so. Healthy risk-taking, not only important in itself, can help prevent unhealthy risk-taking.
(8) Adolescents often offer subtle clues about their negative risk-taking behaviors through what they say about the behaviors of friends and family, including parents. Parents often stay silent about their own histories of risk-taking and experimenting, but it can be important to find ways to share this information with adolescents in order to serve as role models, to let teens know that mistakes are not fatal, and to encourage making healthier choices than those the parent may have made during his or her own adolescence.
(9) Adolescents look to their parents for advice and modeling about how to assess positive and negative risks. Parents need to help their teens learn how to evaluate risks and anticipate the consequences of their choices, and develop strategies for diverting their energy into healthier activities when necessary.
(10) Parents need to pay attention to their own current patterns of risk-taking as well. Teenagers are watching, and imitating, whether they acknowledge this or not.
Friendships, Peer Influence, and Peer Pressure During the Teen Years
Friendships are very much an important aspect of the teen years. Understanding the nature of peer influence can help support youth as they enter into this period and follow the path towards close friendships that are hallmarks of adolescence.
Adolescence is a time when peers play an increasingly important role in the lives of youth. Teens begin to develop friendships that are more intimate, exclusive, and more constant than in earlier years. In many ways, these friendships are an essential component of development. They provide safe venues where youth can explore their identities, where they can feel accepted and where they can develop a sense of belongingness. Friendships also allow youth to practice and foster social skills necessary for future success.
Nonetheless, parents and other adults can become concerned when they see their teens becoming preoccupied with their friends. Many parents worry that their teens might fall under negative peer influence or reject their families’ values and beliefs, as well as be pressured to engage in high-risk and other negative behaviors.
In actuality, peer influence is more complex than our stereotype of the negative influences from friends. First, peer influence can be both positive and negative. While we tend to think that peer influence leads teens to engage in unhealthy and unsafe behaviors, it can actually motivate youth to study harder in school, volunteer for community and social services, and participate in sports and other productive endeavors. In fact, most teens report that their peers pressure them not to engage in drug use and sexual activity.
Second, peer influence is not a simple process where youth are passive recipients of influence from others. In fact, peers who become friends tend to already have a lot of things in common. Peers with similar interests, similar academic standing, and enjoy doing the same things tend to gravitate towards each other. So while it seems that teens and their friends become very similar to each other through peer influence, much of that similarity was present to begin with.
Facts About Friendships, Peers, and Adolescence
Friendships that emerge during adolescence tend to be more complex, more exclusive, and more consistent than during earlier childhood. New types (e.g., opposite sex, romantic ties) and levels (e.g., best friends, cliques, and “crowds”) of relationships emerge, and teens begin to develop the capacity for very close, intimate, and deep friendships.
The adult perception of peers as having one culture or a unified front of dangerous influence is inaccurate. More often than not, peers reinforce family values, but they have the potential to encourage problem behaviors as well. Although the negative peer influence is overemphasized, more can be done to help teenagers experience the family and the peer group as mutually constructive environments.
Facts about the teen-parent relationship during the teen years:
- Parent relationships are not necessarily undermined by peer relationships. During adolescence, relationships between parents and teens are more often re-negotiated rather than rejected. During adolescence, teens become increasingly autonomous and take on more adult roles. They also develop their own ideas and start mapping their own lives. They begin to spend more time with and value their friends more than they used to. Thus, it might seem as if they are starting to cut ties with parents and reject their ideals. In fact, rather than cutting off ties, teens are just renegotiating the parent-child relationship. What this means is that they are beginning to shift the relationship to incorporate their increasing independence and maturity. As teens become more mature, the type of relationship they have with their parents naturally begin to shift as the teen begins to mature.
- While it seems that teens are influenced by their peers, parents continue to be the most influential factor in their lives. Despite fears parents have about their teens rejecting their values and beliefs, parents continue to be of significant influence. Teens report having political, religious, and general beliefs similar to their parents, and consider their parents as being highly significant and influential in their lives. Positive relationships between parents and teens also equip youth to have healthy relationships with friends. Teens who have high quality relationships with parents also report having a positive relationship with their peers.
- Parent-adolescent conflict increases between childhood and early adolescence; although in most families, its frequency and intensity remain low. Typically, conflicts are the result of relationship negotiation and continuing attempts by parents to socialize their adolescents, and do not signal the breakdown of parent-adolescent relations. Parents need to include adolescents in decision-making and rule-setting that affects their lives.
- Parents who continue to communicate with their teens, even when there are conflicts, actually maintain closer relationships. While it might seem futile to talk to teens when it leads to conflicts and disagreements, most teens continue to report having a close relationship with their parents, and as mentioned earlier, they still report parents as being a significant influence on their lives. So parents need to continue talking to their teens and maintaining an open line of communication, rather than simply trying to avoid disagreements.
- Teens often have multiple layers and groups of friendships. Unlike in childhood, when friendships usually meant two or more close friends, teens often have multiple friends and belong to multiple groups. They might have intimate and close relationships with one or a handful of individuals, and might also belong to one or more ‘cliques’ or groups of friends that have similar demographics (sex, race, socioeconomic status), orientation towards school, and other interests.
- Peer friendships are dynamic. This simply means that peer friendships may change. For instance, while teens can have friendships that are long term, they often move from one clique to another, and they might develop new friendships and lose others.
- Peers tend to choose those who are similar to themselves. Whether it is gender, age, socioeconomic status, ethnicity, or interests, teens tend to gravitate towards those who are more similar to them.
- Peer friendships can be a healthy venue for positive youth development. Peer friendships can be a safe place for youth to explore their identity, learn about social norms, and practice their autonomy. Healthy friendships provide youth with social support for dealing with some of the challenges of adolescence, and can also provide youth with some of the most positive experiences during those years. Many teens report having some of the happiest and most fun moments with their peers, likely due to shared interests as well close relationships.
Effective Strategies for Coping with Peer Pressure
While the point has been made here that peer influence and peer pressure do not necessarily have to be negative, peer pressure can lead youth towards unhealthy and unsafe behaviors. To minimize the negative effects of peer pressure, youth, parents, school and community leaders must come together to establish workable and effective strategies to guide teen behavior and to support their transition from children to mature, responsible adults. Here are several strategies to consider (partly based on Brown, 1990):
- Nurture teens’ abilities and self-esteem so that they are equipped to foster positive peer relationships and deflect negative pressures. Adolescents with positive self-concept and self-worth will be less likely to be easily swayed to follow others’ negative influences. It is essential that these aspects of positive development should be encouraged in youth.
- Encourage positive relationships between significant adults and teens. Parents, teachers, school counselors, other relatives and professionals should try to have constructive and positive relationships with teens. These can serve as good models for healthy relationships, and can be a venue through which the teens can feel valued and where they can develop positive views about themselves. Youth should know that they can go to these caring adults for help or advice about their peer relationships.
- Encourage diverse relationships. Parents, teachers, community leaders, and clergy can model appreciation for ethnic, gender, socioeconomic status, religious, and other differences and support cross-group friendships. Schools and youth organizations can assist by encouraging youth from diverse backgrounds to work and play together.
- Support parent education programs for families with teenagers. Parents need to be better informed about the dynamics of adolescent peer groups and the demands and expectations teenagers face in peer relationships. Information is available through various sources including books, some parenting magazines, and other publications such as this one. Keep your eye out for programs particularly targeted towards families and teen issues that might be available. Seeking information is not a sign of weakness, and showing interest in these issues might actually show your teens that you are concerned about them.
- Equip youth with the skills necessary to resist negative behaviors, as well as to make good decisions. Teens will inevitably be confronted with situations where they will have to make a decision whether or not to engage in certain behaviors, whether to give in to peer pressure, and also to make other difficult decisions. It is essential that youth are given the necessary skills to analyze the situation and make the appropriate decision. This includes helping youth develop the skills for ‘costs vs. benefits’ analysis — teaching them to look at both the negative and positive sides to making a decision. For instance, if being pressured to smoke, the teen should be able to think about what the possible desired outcomes are (e.g., peer acceptance, looking “cool,” feeling excitement about trying something new) with the possible undesirable outcomes (e.g., becoming hooked, the health issues, smelling bad, the financial costs).
- Teaching youth exit strategies or ways to say ‘no’ to negative pressures. It is best to try to deal with peer pressure before it even happens. Talk to youth about potential scenarios, and think through strategies together on how to deal with those scenarios if they arise. This could be done by discussing hypothetical scenarios or even role-playing. It is helpful to think about these things ahead of time rather than dealing with situations as they occur or trying to recover after they happen.
Summary
During adolescence, peers play a large part in a young person’s life even while the family continues to be significant. In general, peer friendships offer youth with many positive opportunities despite the negative connotations that peer relationships have to many of us. Peer relationships are actually important for healthy development and essential for youth to develop into healthy adults.
Nonetheless, peer relationships also have the potential to encourage problem behaviors. Although the negative influence of peers is often over-emphasized, more can be done to help teenagers experience the family and the peer group as mutually constructive environments. To accomplish this, families, communities, churches, schools, 4-H and other youth groups can all contribute to helping youth develop positive peer relationships, and deflect negative peer pressures and influences.
Selected References
Brown, B. B. (2004). Adolescents’ relationships with peers. In R. M. Lerner & L. Steinberg (Eds.), Handbook of Adolescent Psychology, 2nd edition (pp. 363-394). New York: Wiley.
Brown, B. B. (1990). Peer groups and peer cultures. In S. S. Feldman & G. R. Elliott (Eds). At the threshold: The developing adolescent (pp. 171-198). Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.
Brown, B. B. & Klute, C. (2006). Friendships, cliques, and crowds. In G. R. Adams & M. D. Berzonsky (Eds.). Blackwell Handbook of Adolescence (pp. 330-348). Malden, MA: Blackwell Publishing.
Steinberg, L. (2005). Adolescence. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.
Acknowledgment
This publication is partly based on NebFact 211, “Adolescence and Peer Pressure” by Herbert G. Lingren, Extension Family Specialist.
Childhood ADHD Linked to Teen Depression
Though Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, ADHD, is a struggle for children and parents enduring its consequences and resulting behavior, a new study is pointing to the struggles ADHD children may also encounter as teenagers. Published in Archives of General Psychiatry, the study is highlighted by results showing that as many as 18 percent of children diagnosed at an early age matured into depressed teens.
Despite the seriousness of the depression in teens after being diagnosed with ADHD as children, the study published even more alarming results. A staggering six percent of children diagnosed in the study and followed into their teen years reported that they had plans involving suicide at one time or another.
The study, carried out by Andrea Chronis-Tuscano Ph.D. and her colleagues from the University of Maryland in College Park, followed the 125 diagnosed children, who were diagnosed between the ages of four and five. Girls diagnosed were at an even greater risk for depression, the study said.
What does it mean?
The study is alarming because of the growing number of children, both diagnosed and undiagnosed, with ADHD across the world. Also cause for concern is the lack of understanding as to why the disorder occurs, leaving some parents and children in the dark about how it can be prevented. According to Margaret Austin, Ph.D and her colleagues, the number of prescriptions written for drugs treating ADHD has tripled and quadrupled in the last ten years.
Why?
Understanding why ADHD diagnosed children have increased rates of depression extends some of the baffling mystery. Are medications to treat the disorder leading to the resulting depression and suicidal thoughts? Is ADHD itself to blame for the depression produced in teenagers? Experts within the field continue to work diligently to discover the root of depression in ADHD diagnosed children.
With increased information, parents can take a proactive stand, paying close attention to the warning signs that may accompany the depression of their teens, which can lead to positive strides within the ADHD community.
According to the article “ADHD, Depression and Suicide: How Parents Can Keep Children Safe,” in U.S. News & World Report, there are several precautions that can be taken in order to aid maintenance of mental health among teens at risk. Insuring children and teens are evaluated and seen by experts skilled in ADHD therapy, educating family about suicide and depression prevention, and screening other family members are vital ways to combat depression among ADHD teens diagnosed as young children.
This post is brought to you by Argosy University. Drawing upon our more than 30-year history of granting degrees in professional psychology, Argosy University has developed a curriculum that focuses on interpersonal skills and practical experience alongside academic learning. Because getting a degree is one thing. Succeeding, quite another.
29 November, 2010
AAMFT Consumer Update Adolescent Behavior Problems
Any number of isolated behavior problems can represent adolescent problems and delinquency-shoplifting, truancy, a fight in school, drug or alcohol ingestion. Sometimes, kids can't easily explain why they act the way they do. They may be just as confused about it as the adults, or they simply see delinquent behaviors as appropriate ways to deal with what they experience. Parents and loved ones may feel scared, angry, frustrated, or hopeless. They may feel guilty and wonder where they went wrong. All these feelings are normal, but it is important to understand that there is help available to troubled kids and their families.
HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN TO SEEK HELP?
What are the signs of trouble? Many adolescents get into trouble sometimes. A big question for parents (whether they be "traditional," single, step, or grand-parents), though, is how to know when a youth is headed for more serious problems, or when bad behavior is just "a kid being a kid." Try to focus on patterns rather than an isolated event. In other words, does the behavior happen repeatedly despite efforts to change it?
The patterns signaling the need for help include not only deviant behaviors by the adolescent, but also the presence of other problems in the family or tensions at home. For example, problems in the parents' marriage or frequent fighting or hostility among the family members can also be involved in the youth's behavior problems. The problem behaviors and other family issues can interact and feed off each other, so that it is hard to tell where it started.
Of course, there are also some obvious signs that indicate the need for immediate and effective intervention, including violence against other persons or animals, or when peers are involved in destructive processes (crime, truancy, drugs). Or, a parent may simply have an instinctive feeling that something serious is happening. An important first step to find out what is going on is to try to talk to the adolescent and other family members about what is happening, possible reasons, and potential solutions. Others who know the adolescent and family, like teachers or caregivers, may also be able to provide information about the youth's mood or behaviors outside of the home to help assess the severity of the problem.
Many factors put youth and families at risk for juvenile delinquency, though they do not necessarily cause delinquency. Such factors include youth attention and hyperactivity problems and learning disorders, volatile temperament, and even the early onset of puberty and sexual development. All these factors affect the way an adolescent feels and acts and also how peers, family, and society view the adolescent. Similarly, parental problems, such as depression, substance abuse, and domestic violence can interact negatively with a youth's developing path of delinquency. Rather than causing delinquency, factors such as these tend to place youth at increased risk, intensify the downward spiral, and in turn add to the difficulty in changing these processes for the better.
WHAT KINDS OF TREATMENTS WILL WORK?
Once you have determined that you and your loved ones need help, there are many kinds of treatment that you should explore. First, there are popular group-based, residential, and "life-experiential" options, like survival camps, boot camps, and "scared straight" programs, which have had some limited success. Research indicates that the most effective treatments, even with very difficult youth, are programs and treatments that are family-based and multisystemic. That means treatment that involves the adolescent and his or her family, and that also addresses other aspects of their lives, such as the school sys-tem, the neighborhood, peers, juvenile justice system, and even employers. In other words, it is treatment that focuses on all the parts of the youth's life that shape how he or she views the world, emphasizing family and parental support.
Treatments that focus on the family can also be useful in helping adults develop their parenting skills, deal with stress, and work on marital relationships. Many parent aids have demonstrated promising positive results. Professionals, such as family therapists, are there to help the adolescent and family gain understanding of the relationship dynamics and background issues that may be influencing the problem, and come up with solutions.
The next section provides more ideas on how to start finding help for adolescent problems.
REFERENCES AND RESOURCES
Parenting Teenagers: Systematic Training for Effective Parenting of Teens. By Don Dinkmeyer Jr., Gary McKay, Joyce McKay, and Don Dinkmeyer, Sr. Times Books (1998). This book explores the parenting of adolescents through the Systematic Training for Effective Parenting (STEP) program. It includes practical information to help encourage mutual respect, cooperation, responsibility, and self-reliance in teenagers. The authors discuss how parents can take care of themselves in times of stress, include real-life examples, and address married and single parents and stepparents.
Parenting Wisely. By FamilyWorks, Inc. This interactive multimedia program, which parents can use at home on a multimedia computer, is based on parenting research and helps parents improve their parenting skills. It addresses three main areas: how to communicate better using active listening and "I" messages; assertive discipline, including contracting, praise, and setting consequences; and supervision, or working with teachers, and monitoring homework and friends. The program features many types of families and different cultures. For more information on the program, contact FamilyWorks, Inc., 20 East Circle Drive, Suite 190, Athens, Ohio 45701-3751, or call (740) 593-9505.
Before It's Too Late: Why Some Kids Get Into Trouble-and What Parents Can Do About It. By Stanton Samenow. Times Books (1999). With the encouraging message that kids' behavioral problems can be corrected with proper intervention, this book offers useful insight into children's personalities, providing practical suggestions for changing bad behaviors and averting problems. The author discusses ways to recognize potential problems early, identifying common traits of antisocial children. It also teaches coping skills and introduces ways to help kids accept responsibility for their actions.
Surviving Your Adolescents: How To Manage And Let Go Of Your 13-18 Year Olds. By Thomas Phelan. Child Management (1998). This book, with an encouraging and positive tone, provides a concrete, step by step approach for parents going through difficult times with teenagers. Included are guidelines for evaluating the seriousness of problems, deciding when to seek professional intervention, and how to improve relationships while maintaining a positive outlook.
Clinical Update: Adolescent Disruptive Behavior Disorders. By James Alexander. AAMFT (1999). Accompanies this Consumer Update and is designed to educate therapists on topics such as diagnosis and assessment, terminology, BioMedical and associated considerations, treatment options, professional resources, and new decisions in service delivery.
The text for this brochure was written by James Alexander, Ph.D.
How Adolescent Psychology Helps with Teen Depression
The teenage years can be exciting, fun, and filled with adventure. But teens often experience new emotions, social pressures, and a can sometimes choose the wrong path.Teen angst is no laughing matter, as it can turn into depression, anxiety, rage, and other mental disorders. Adolescent psychology, according to the American Academy of Child Adolescent Psychiatry, is a discipline that is “dedicated to treating and improving the quality of life for children, adolescents, and families affected by mental disorders.”
Teens who suffer from depression are at a higher risk for suicide. The website Teen Depression – Help for Troubled Teens estimates that “untreated depression is the number one cause of suicide, the third leading cause of death among teenagers. 90 percent of suicide victims suffer from a mental illness, and suffering from depression can make a teenager as much as 12 times more likely to attempt suicide.”
Even with these disturbing statistics, not every teen feeling the blues will attempt such extreme actions. Lots of adolescents experience feelings of uselessness, and of being unloved or lonely. Sometimes this is just drama. Knowing when to intervene is the key.
Some symptoms of teenage depression include:
- lack of appetite
- losing weight
- increased eating
- withdrawing from friends and loved ones
- sleeping too little or too much
- neglecting hygiene
- losing interest in hobbies
- extreme sadness
- violent behavior
- mood swings
Adolescent psychology specialists that might be able help with teen depression include psychotherapists, and adolescent psychiatrists. The latter are medical doctors who specialize in mental illness in teenagers and can prescribe medications.
Types of Therapy Shown Beneficial:
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT, is based on the belief that it is thoughts that cause negative feelings or behaviors, rather than external issues such as situations, people or events. CBT attempts to get the people to change the way they think.
• Group therapy is where a small group of people meet, decide what they want to talk about, try to help solve problems and are encouraged to give each other feedback.
• Problem-solving therapy is the belief that the problems a person has are the response to that person’s social environment. Goals in this type of therapy include achieving personal goals and changing detrimental behavior.
In some cases, therapy is used in combination with medications to treat teen depression. Adolescent psychology has the answers parents need for dealing with depressed and anxious teens.
This post is brought to you by Argosy University. Drawing upon our more than 30-year history of granting degrees in professional psychology, Argosy University has developed a curriculum that focuses on interpersonal skills and practical experience alongside academic learning. Because getting a degree is one thing. Succeeding, quite another.
27 November, 2010
Motivation: Don't Give Up If You Fail at First
Are you one of those people who tries something just once? If you succeed then you are very happy. However, if you fail at first, you tend to give up very quickly and says something like, "I'll never be able to do such and such."
You then carry around the internal message that you will never be able to succeed in what you have just failed to do. Just think for a moment about a baby learning to walk. Do you remember seeing a toddler trying to stand, warbling through moment and then falling over. Do they say to themselves, "that's it I failed I'm never going to walk." No, they keep on trying. They get up and fall over many many times take the steps they are striving to do.
So you too, as an adult, must bear in mind the scenario of a young child learning to walk. If you do something and fail to achieve what you wish for then be prepared to try again and again. Each time you can learn from the time before, so that you adapt the next attempt in a way more likely to succeed. People say that there is no such thing as failure, only a learning experience.
If you feel you've failed something, ask yourself how you could achieve the same result in a slightly different way. Think about your other options and do something differently when you try again. Sometimes it's about where you were trying to do something or whether you have the skills to do so. If your skills are lacking then that is the area you must address for you try again.
You may not have succeeded because of your own mindset about your own capability and whether somebody such as you could actually achieve what you are striving for. Look around and find other people who have achieved what you want and discover what they did which was different from the way you approach the task. Although everyone has their own individual way of achieving something, you can always learn by observing people who have already achieved success in that area.
So don't give up when you metaphorically fall over. Get yourself up, brush yourself down, take a few deep breaths and start all over again. Say a few positive affirmations to yourself such as "I can do this."
You may be amazed about how much you can achieve when you get into the right mindset for success.
Stress - Personal Traits - Lack of Confidenc
BY Dr. Ron Bailes
In my experience, people reading and body language are critical when assessing an individual. Personal traits stress, such as lack of confidence, can be exemplified in an individual's behaviors and attitudes. Even those who seem to be very confident lack self-assurance on some level. The difference between those who allow it to debilitate them and those who don't is the courage to continue on, in spite of their fears. Lack of confidence is just one of the many ways to express fear.
One way to overcome fear or lack of confidence is to not let it hold you back. Learn to release the idea and the thoughts of "if something goes wrong", (and it probably will) or "what if it doesn't work, I'll look stupid or it will look like I don't know what I am doing". By simply developing the idea in your subconscious that "If something goes wrong, I'll figure out a way to fix it", you begin to release the fears that have invaded your ability to think positively.
When you resolve within yourself the idea that if something goes wrong or doesn't turn out the way you had planned, it simply means that there were parts of the equation that you miscalculated or you were unaware of part of the process. With this attitude you gain the knowledge to move forward. An example would be, to produce a projection of a completion date on a project that you are working on but are unfamiliar with the details. As you are unable to meet the deadline, due to the factors that you had no knowledge of or control over, you can make the adjustments and keep on track. Entrepreneurs seem to inherently have this capacity or belief within certain areas of their lives.
I have first-hand knowledge from developing my body language video course. Having never tackled such a project, I was continually making unrealistic deadlines and constantly having to adjust them. I never became discouraged, I knew going in that I was in an area that would require additional learning on my behalf. Even though I know the subject, and know it well, the planning, filming, editing, producing and marketing required tenacity and the self-confidence that no matter what happened, I or my team would overcome the obstacles.
Also, working from the premise that if there is a problem you can learn from the experience and make proper changes to move forward. Confidence must be intrinsic, it comes from within oneself. As you become more relaxed and less tense and release the fear, you begin to develop more confidence in yourself. With this self-assurance you will develop your ability to do what you normally have to do each day without fear of failure, without fear of consequences, and without fear of unnecessary anxiety.
What I'm saying here is, stop being afraid to try something new or chase your dreams. Even if you know very little about what is involved, do your homework and give it your best shot. You can always make changes and adjustments as you proceed. Pay attention and learn from what doesn't work. Keep this in mind, when you fail to chase your dreams because of a lack of confidence and fears, you give others control and power over your life. By learning from the experience, it is no longer a failure. And of course, with a change of attitude and the willingness to learn from mistakes, you build confidence in other areas of your life as well.
Lack of confidence goes hand-in-hand with insecurity. It can have roots as far back as childhood. It may come from experiences in school or adolescent issues, as we muddle our way through puberty. Being fired from a job may even rock or destroy one's confidence. It can be shattered from a divorce, especially after being in a long term relationship or marriage. Entering the dating scene in your late 30's or 40's, or even older, with only "left-over tools" that you acquired in your teens can cause you to lack confidence in yourself. Lacking the skills to deal with workplace politics can have a negative effect on your self-confidence and your financial future.
I have dealt with this from both males and females in all age groups. The lack of confidence in their ability to even go about meeting someone new and starting over can bring on an enormous amount of stress. This also spills over in other areas of their life. The stability of their home life and the routines that they have created for themselves, gave them the confidence that they needed to take on and tackle just about anything that entered the picture. They had the perceived backup that is now no longer a part of their life. Finding ways to rebuild your confidence will certainly help you deal with those progressive accumulating events, customary anticipated life events, as well as the unexpected life events.
One suggestion that I recommend in an effort to begin to build your self-esteem and self-confidence, is to make an asset list. Not an asset list of your things and possessions, but an asset list of who you are and who you would like to become. Begin with two pieces of poster board. On one board, at the top title it "Who I AM", with the other "Who I am BECOMING". Be sure to underline the titles and write it big enough to see it several feet away.
Now start the list of "Who you are" and "Who you are becoming." For example, are you kind? If so, write it under "Who I am", if not, write it under "Who I am becoming." Are you forgiving, understanding, happy, positive, confident, do you have self-esteem? Write them under their respective headings. Only write down the positive of what you are. If you are "unhappy", then write "happy" under the heading of what you are becoming. I think you get the picture.
You can also write your accomplishments under the "Who I am" title. During the day, as you think of something you are or would like to become, while you're work or on the go, jot it down on a piece of paper and add it to the asset list when you get home. If you deal with jealousy, write on the "Who I am becoming"-- less jealous. The same goes for feelings of insecurity and inadequacy. Simply add to "Who I am becoming" list, more secure and more adequate. It is very important to only write the positive of what you are or what you are becoming.
Hang your asset list on your bedroom wall, so you can see it first thing when you wake up in the morning, as you get ready for your day, and the last thing you see before you go to sleep. Everyday, sit in front of your asset list for 30 minutes and do a meditation or simply sit quietly, where you can think undisturbed. The meditation that I use the most is an undirected meditation. This is where I sit in front of my asset list, and stare at it. Sometimes I might focus on a particular word or words on the "Who I am" list and other times I am drawn to the "Who I am becoming" list.
Lack of confidence can be overcome simply by reprogramming yourself. It doesn't have to come from the reassurance of others. It is you making the changes and becoming the person you desire to be and not through the want of approval from others and what they think you should attain in life.
25 November, 2010
24 November, 2010
The Beauty of Friendship
BY Karishma Kristina Tannan
Friends are people who will be there for us when we really need someone the most, but then there are a few who are to enjoy with us and run away when you need someone the most. There are the some that let us be ourselves but there is always that one person who is so close to you and you know that this person will understand even your silence. This person is more as a family to you and you know even at 3:00 AM you can make this one phone call and this person will still be there for you.
Friendship is one of the most beautiful relations you can have. And it is even better with that special friend who you love the My best friend and I fight like crazy, at times I even pull her leg saying that I am going to get married to her. We both share one main thing in common, we both love dogs and the best part is she has one of the pups that my lab had given birth to.
We both keep on talking about the pups and telling each other how naughty they are. Sometimes she even asks me what to do if a dog is not well since she feels that I know a lot about dogs since I have had them for the past 11 years.
Apart from our dogs, we talk about our problems, about things that bother us. We make it a point to talk on a regular base. No doubt, there are days where she gets upset with me or vice versa, but then in the next second, the anger is gone and we are happy again. Between the both of us, I am short tempered but with her around, I cannot be angry for too long, she will always find a way to make me laugh.
Life has not been fair to both of us, but we still are able to trust each other and know that no matter what happens there is this one person on this earth to whom we do not need to prove ourselves. There is one person you do not need to explain what and why you did it. Who does not care if you are right or wrong but still stands by you in front of everyone and shouts at you if you are wrong when no one is around.
This person just loves you for whom you are. This one person can see things, which you also may not be able to see. This one person knows you so well that even if someone comes and tries to tell them something bad about you, it still does not change a thing since they know who you really are and is confident about whatever you do and will always stand by you. This person is always there for you no matter what the situation is and advises you or goes out of their way to help you. This person is your guide, your friend. To this special person I must say a big thank you who thought me the BEAUTY OF FRIENDSHIP. So in short of you had to say what a friend is then:-
F-forgiveness
R-respect
I-Impartial
E-Emotional
N-Nurture
D-Dependable
And Friendship would be
F-Fun
R-Rational
I-Intuition
E- Endurance
N-Never Ending
D-Devotion
S-support
H-honesty
I-inspiration
P-Perfect
Couple Communication - Learning to Identify Feelings As a First Step in Communicating Them
BY Peggy Ferguson
Couples often come into counseling with one spouse complaining about the other spouse's lack of emotional involvement in the relationship. They each give very different meaning to the interaction that they have in their relationship. The spouse that has been described as emotionally unavailable or uninvolved, often views the other partner as critical and demanding, and feels as if s/he is in a no-win situation.
In some ways each party is probably trying very hard to show the other partner that he or she is loved. The problem is that each brings to the relationship beliefs, attitudes, and emotional baggage about how to go about it. Unfortunately, most couples will not share the same beliefs, attitudes, and early life learning. So, of course their ideas and their methods will not match the other person's expectations. They won't give the same meaning to the same events.
Each party wants to feel loved, important, valued, and respected. Many times, one or both partners expect the other partner to know what they want or need, and to give it to them without having to ask for it. This expectation of mind-reading gets in the way of feeling loved and important. It gets in the way of effective communication and problem solving. It virtually guarantees that the person expecting the other "to know" will be hurt and disappointed. Most couples are not so "tuned in" to each other that they finish each other's sentences. Yet that is often an expectation of the one of the partners.
It is crucial when trying to communicate, and ultimately to problem solve on relationship issues in your life, that you have the ability to identify and communicate feelings. Many people have a difficult time identifying exactly what it is that they do feel. Some people have had inadequate training in recognizing that they are having a feeling then appropriately labeling that feeling. It is very difficult to tell someone else what you are feeling if you don't have the vocabulary to accomplish it. To assist in correctly identifying and labeling the feeling, use this exercise:
Remember a recent event when you felt angry. Then explore these questions:
- What does anger feel like in your body?
- Does your heart beat faster/race?
- Does your breathing quicken?
- Do you breath more shallowly or more deeply?
- What does your stomach/guts do? Are they churning; do they feel hard, or do you feel nauseated?
- What do your muscles do? Are you tense? Does your hand ball up into a fist?
- Does Your blood pressure go up? Do you turn red? Do you have a vein that sticks out and throbs.
- Is your chest tight?
- Do you experience high energy or low energy. Do you feel compelled to take some action? What kind of action?
What does your body feel like when you experience fear? Does your body experience some of the same things that you do with anger? What is the difference? Can you tell the difference when you experience either feeling?
What does hurt feel like?
- Heart beat/pulse fast or slow
- Breathing fast or slow; deep or shallow
- Stomach/Guts nausea or churning or knotted
- Muscles tense, weak
- Temperature hot or cold
- Chest tightness or heaviness
- Energy high or low
- Action compelled to act or unable to act
Use this list of physical reactions of feelings to identify how your body reacts to each of the feelings listed below. This list encompasses common reactions for emotions, but there is a great deal of variability possible. You might high some different physical reactions to feelings that are not given here. It is important to identify what your body does with a specific feeling so that you can correctly label the feelings you have.
- Fear
- Anger
- Shame
- Guilt
- Hurt
- Sad
- Lonely
- Helpless
- Joy
It is vitally important to know appropriate labels for your feelings. If you only know two labels for feelings-angry and happy-and you experience hurt, the label that you choose to communicate your feeling of "hurt" to your loved one will probably be "anger". Your communication of anger will probably hamper your attempts to effectively reveal what is going on with you. Your loved one probably will not be able to read between the lines and see the "hurt". They will probably take you at your word, that you feel "angry". You will not have successfully communicated your feeling.
It is important to be able to distinguish between and among feelings because feelings often get paired up quite quickly. Common pairings are "fear and anger" and "hurt and anger". Sometimes people experience different feelings in rapid fire fashion. It can happen so quickly that you may not even be aware of the first feeling before it turns to something else - usually anger. Often, the first feeling that you experience is the most important one to communicate with significant others. The second feeling may be a defense or a guard against experiencing the first feeling. An example of how the first feeling may have more significance for the relationship is when a parent has been waiting up all night for an adolescent who has missed curfew, to get home. When the adolescent opens the door at 3:00 in the morning, the abject terror and fear of what might have happened to the child, gives way to the anger. It is, of course, typically the anger that is expressed. If the fear gets expressed at all, it is usually much later. The erring child hears the anger and not the fear.
As with any skill, practice makes for improvement. Human beings experience a range of emotions, not just "anger" and "happy". The more skilled that people are at identifying and communicating this range of emotions, the better able they are to problem solve and work through feelings. The less skilled that you are in identifying and communicating feelings, the more likely you are to act them out in ways that are detrimental in various areas of your life.
Adolescence Obesity
BY James Rouse
Do we have reason to be concerned about adolescent obesity? Over the past three decades the number of overweight and obese children has nearly tripled. Statistically adolescent obesity accounts for over 17% of those numbers. Overweight children have a higher risk of developing lifelong health problems more than their adult counterparts because obesity during childhood is associated with an increased rate of illness and even death in adulthood. Adult obesity is far more difficult to treat which means if adolescent obesity is not treated the consequences could be grave.
There are many reasons for the increase in adolescent obesity one particular reason is the world that we live in. Technologically we have advanced and gurus are always trying to find ways of simplifying our lives. The problem is that because of the almighty dollar some of the technological advances are targeting our youth. Video games, computers, and big screen television sets have all contributed to sedentary lifestyles. The lure and excitement of these gadgets also come at a price with advertising. Particularly the internet and social networking which entices adolescence with free ring tones and other offers to gain access to an e-mail address. The result is e-mail marketing for convenience foods and fast foods that are high in fat and calories. The most common cause, of course, is eating too many calories and not getting enough exercise.
Everyone needs and has some fat tissue in their bodies but when teens have too much it results in adolescent obesity. There are several different methods used to calculate body fat percentage the most commonly used method is called the body mass index. This is a measurement of an individuals height in relation to weight. The result is a figure that is used to determine their body mass index. There are three categories of obesity. Class I obesity is defined as a BMI score of 30-34.9, and Class II obesity is defined as a BMI of 35-39.9. Lastly, Class III obesity, also known as morbid obesity or severe obesity, is defined as a BMI score of 40 or higher. Based on these numbers, as many as one-third of all Americans are considered obese.
Adolescent obesity takes no prisoners. It effects all ethnic groups, religious groups, genders, financially secure and insecure families, educational levels and more. There are many influences for the increase in overweight children such as environmental factors. Parents are spending less time with their children because of the need for two income sources and they are unable to monitor the eating habits and exercise that their children get. Issues in school with peer pressure and taunting or teasing. Many overweight children get picked on leading them into isolation and contributing to adolescent obesity. Family conflict also contributes to obesity in children. When families are struggling many times children become secondary and they turn to food to nurture hurt feelings. Parents become less aware of the effects of the conflict on their adolescents and how they are venting their anger and pain.
Solving the problem of adolescent obesity can be accomplished with the help of schools, the community and most of all the parents. Focusing on healthy eating, healthy lifestyles, exercise, and doing it as a family. It all starts at home. Parental involvement and support is critical for adolescents to gain control of their weight.
Teen Pregnancy
BY Celia Namart
Besides the stress of knowing that she is pregnant, there is also the fact that now she has another life to think of and care for. Girls that engage in unprotected sex often end up confused, lonely and in great need of guidance in coping with teenage pregnancy. This seems to hold true for almost 34% of all teenage girls in America who get pregnant before the age of 20. Even more shocking is the situation in England where one out of every 5 births recorded is to a teenage girl. Since these statistics alone prove that these teenagers are lacking in knowledge and are participating in unprotected sex, there needs to be action taken, more of a community approach to providing proper knowledge to teenage girls about pregnancy prevention.
Even in this modern age, people are still embarrassed to talk to their children about sex and its consequences. While this is natural and difficult initially, in the long run it would be very help the teenager avoid making a serious mistake. Having an open-minded, educational talk will not only prevent your teenage child from getting pregnant, but might also eliminate the possibility of sex at too early an age. It will also educate your child about the various sexually transmitted diseases [HIV, aids, etc.] and make them more cautious about engaging in sexual activities. Your child will be a lot more aware of the consequences and will be prepared to take appropriate action.
There are various ways for women to avoid pregnancy, using contraceptives being one. Contraceptive birth control pills, This is the form of birth control method where "pills" are taken by girls to stop production of certain hormones that cause ovulation. While this is a useful technique, requiring the person to take a pill everyday to prevent ovulation, it does not eliminate the chances of getting infected or infecting someone else with a sexually transmitted disease.
While it may be portrayed socially and by the media that contraception completely eliminates the chances of pregnancy, it is not true. There is still a 3-5% chance of getting pregnant. So the best possible way to prevent teenage pregnancy is to practice abstinence. Abstinence means not having sex at all. By abstaining from sexual intercourse, many unwanted births will be prevented. This is the best way to avoid being infected by sexually transmitted diseases and possible infections in the vagina and uterus. While there is a good chance that their friends might pressure them into having sex, having the right knowledge and the courage to say no is all that matters.
Overall, the young people today are being bombarded by the television and advertisements everywhere on sexual issues, the natural feelings and the teenage drive many to make costly mistakes, what is needed is better understanding of the consequences of early pregnancy and the information about trying practicing safe sex. Since it is sometimes difficult to approach teenagers, the young people should make their own decisions out of the knowledge they have gained.
Sleep Makes Your Memories Stronger, and Helps With Creativity
ScienceDaily (Nov. 12, 2010) — As humans, we spend about a third of our lives asleep. So there must be a point to it, right? Scientists have found that sleep helps consolidate memories, fixing them in the brain so we can retrieve them later. Now, new research is showing that sleep also seems to reorganize memories, picking out the emotional details and reconfiguring the memories to help you produce new and creative ideas, according to the authors of an article in Current Directions in Psychological Science.
"Sleep is making memories stronger," says Jessica D. Payne of the University of Notre Dame, who co-wrote the review with Elizabeth A. Kensinger of Boston College. "It also seems to be doing something which I think is so much more interesting, and that is reorganizing and restructuring memories."
Payne and Kensinger study what happens to memories during sleep, and they have found that a person tends to hang on to the most emotional part of a memory. For example, if someone is shown a scene with an emotional object, such as a wrecked car, in the foreground, they're more likely to remember the emotional object than, say, the palm trees in the background -- particularly if they're tested after a night of sleep. They have also measured brain activity during sleep and found that regions of the brain involved with emotion and memory consolidation are active.
"In our fast-paced society, one of the first things to go is our sleep," Payne says. "I think that's based on a profound misunderstanding that the sleeping brain isn't doing anything." The brain is busy. It's not just consolidating memories, it's organizing them and picking out the most salient information. She thinks this is what makes it possible for people to come up with creative, new ideas.
Payne has taken the research to heart. "I give myself an eight-hour sleep opportunity every night. I never used to do that -- until I started seeing my data," she says. People who say they'll sleep when they're dead are sacrificing their ability to have good thoughts now, she says. "We can get away with less sleep, but it has a profound effect on our cognitive abilities."
Friendships, Peer Influence, and Peer Pressure During the Teen Years
Facts About Friendships, Peers, and Adolescence
- Parent relationships are not necessarily undermined by peer relationships. During adolescence, relationships between parents and teens are more often re-negotiated rather than rejected. During adolescence, teens become increasingly autonomous and take on more adult roles. They also develop their own ideas and start mapping their own lives. They begin to spend more time with and value their friends more than they used to. Thus, it might seem as if they are starting to cut ties with parents and reject their ideals. In fact, rather than cutting off ties, teens are just renegotiating the parent-child relationship. What this means is that they are beginning to shift the relationship to incorporate their increasing independence and maturity. As teens become more mature, the type of relationship they have with their parents naturally begin to shift as the teen begins to mature.
- While it seems that teens are influenced by their peers, parents continue to be the most influential factor in their lives. Despite fears parents have about their teens rejecting their values and beliefs, parents continue to be of significant influence. Teens report having political, religious, and general beliefs similar to their parents, and consider their parents as being highly significant and influential in their lives. Positive relationships between parents and teens also equip youth to have healthy relationships with friends. Teens who have high quality relationships with parents also report having a positive relationship with their peers.
- Parent-adolescent conflict increases between childhood and early adolescence; although in most families, its frequency and intensity remain low. Typically, conflicts are the result of relationship negotiation and continuing attempts by parents to socialize their adolescents, and do not signal the breakdown of parent-adolescent relations. Parents need to include adolescents in decision-making and rule-setting that affects their lives.
- Parents who continue to communicate with their teens, even when there are conflicts, actually maintain closer relationships. While it might seem futile to talk to teens when it leads to conflicts and disagreements, most teens continue to report having a close relationship with their parents, and as mentioned earlier, they still report parents as being a significant influence on their lives. So parents need to continue talking to their teens and maintaining an open line of communication, rather than simply trying to avoid disagreements.
- Teens often have multiple layers and groups of friendships. Unlike in childhood, when friendships usually meant two or more close friends, teens often have multiple friends and belong to multiple groups. They might have intimate and close relationships with one or a handful of individuals, and might also belong to one or more ‘cliques’ or groups of friends that have similar demographics (sex, race, socioeconomic status), orientation towards school, and other interests.
- Peer friendships are dynamic. This simply means that peer friendships may change. For instance, while teens can have friendships that are long term, they often move from one clique to another, and they might develop new friendships and lose others.
- Peers tend to choose those who are similar to themselves. Whether it is gender, age, socioeconomic status, ethnicity, or interests, teens tend to gravitate towards those who are more similar to them.
- Peer friendships can be a healthy venue for positive youth development. Peer friendships can be a safe place for youth to explore their identity, learn about social norms, and practice their autonomy. Healthy friendships provide youth with social support for dealing with some of the challenges of adolescence, and can also provide youth with some of the most positive experiences during those years. Many teens report having some of the happiest and most fun moments with their peers, likely due to shared interests as well close relationships.
Effective Strategies for Coping with Peer Pressure
- Nurture teens’ abilities and self-esteem so that they are equipped to foster positive peer relationships and deflect negative pressures. Adolescents with positive self-concept and self-worth will be less likely to be easily swayed to follow others’ negative influences. It is essential that these aspects of positive development should be encouraged in youth.
- Encourage positive relationships between significant adults and teens. Parents, teachers, school counselors, other relatives and professionals should try to have constructive and positive relationships with teens. These can serve as good models for healthy relationships, and can be a venue through which the teens can feel valued and where they can develop positive views about themselves. Youth should know that they can go to these caring adults for help or advice about their peer relationships.
- Encourage diverse relationships. Parents, teachers, community leaders, and clergy can model appreciation for ethnic, gender, socioeconomic status, religious, and other differences and support cross-group friendships. Schools and youth organizations can assist by encouraging youth from diverse backgrounds to work and play together.
- Support parent education programs for families with teenagers. Parents need to be better informed about the dynamics of adolescent peer groups and the demands and expectations teenagers face in peer relationships. Information is available through various sources including books, some parenting magazines, and other publications such as this one. Keep your eye out for programs particularly targeted towards families and teen issues that might be available. Seeking information is not a sign of weakness, and showing interest in these issues might actually show your teens that you are concerned about them.
- Equip youth with the skills necessary to resist negative behaviors, as well as to make good decisions. Teens will inevitably be confronted with situations where they will have to make a decision whether or not to engage in certain behaviors, whether to give in to peer pressure, and also to make other difficult decisions. It is essential that youth are given the necessary skills to analyze the situation and make the appropriate decision. This includes helping youth develop the skills for ‘costs vs. benefits’ analysis — teaching them to look at both the negative and positive sides to making a decision. For instance, if being pressured to smoke, the teen should be able to think about what the possible desired outcomes are (e.g., peer acceptance, looking “cool,” feeling excitement about trying something new) with the possible undesirable outcomes (e.g., becoming hooked, the health issues, smelling bad, the financial costs).
- Teaching youth exit strategies or ways to say ‘no’ to negative pressures. It is best to try to deal with peer pressure before it even happens. Talk to youth about potential scenarios, and think through strategies together on how to deal with those scenarios if they arise. This could be done by discussing hypothetical scenarios or even role-playing. It is helpful to think about these things ahead of time rather than dealing with situations as they occur or trying to recover after they happen.